Cupid is a morbidly obese whore

You know what I think you should do, Cupid? Go FUCK yourself. That's right, I said it. You're a greedy whore. Your triple chin smells of cheep chocolate, and you completely overcharge for roses. I personally think you should be banned from Walmart, for commercializing a day of love and turning it into a day of hate and making us all feel the need to buy into your silly scheme of crappy stuffed bears, gaudy necklaces and stale candy. Your perverted cloth diaper is indecent, and while you may have once been a cute glowing little cherub, you are now nothing more than a fat sticky old man in padded underwear.

I am unable to compose poetry and love songs for my husband, so thank you for making me look like a complacent lazy ass. As I am now far too old to go through the trouble of lining the sheets with rose petals, and leaving shiny little I LOVE YOU confetti on the dinner table and finding a website that makes personalized candy hearts...and I don't have the time to clean it up anyways. Fuck you very much you bastard for those tidbits.

So this year, I'm turning traitor. I am not taking part in your stupid day. This year, I will love my husband because it's SUNDAY, and I'll treat him like I love him too. Just because it's SUNDAY, not because you've left your personal stamp on every god damn calender, not because you've strewn your rubbish in every store. Maybe I'll throw in a foot rub, or a bath with candles (and cupid, if you snicker the word GAY just once in his direction I'll kick your candied ass all over the place you FAT bastard...besides, not much straight about a clout is there?).

Two years ago I hated you as much as I do today, for your sickening colors, your trashy objects meant to represent love, your noisy cards and disgusting candies. Esepecially for giving all of us a reason to remember how much we love our people on one particular day of the year. I know damn well my people deserve better than you, hell some days they deserve better than me! Two years ago my husband fell in love with me without your help, and for some reason I'm fortunate enough to find myself still basking in it.

Take a hike Cupid, I got this. It's all me. I'm not sure I want to have you to thank for a "romantic evening" anyways.

Hit the road jack,
and don't ya come back no more no more.....