Every day starts out perfect

I think that every day starts out perfectly...and remember, just because you're eyes aren't open yet doesn't mean the day hasn't started. Before the sun comes up and eyes open, nothing bad has happened. No mistakes have been made. You haven't accidentally kicked the cat off the balcony, you haven't burned your scalp with the curling iron, you have not realized yet that your hot water tank has been leaking alllllllllll night. You didn't run over a dog on the way to work. The junkie has yet to go and get his fix. A parent hasn't crossed a line they can never come back from.
If you took the time, you would see the perfect beauty of a fresh new day. Dew drops on a spiders web, frost patterns on the window, bird song in the early morning. A pink sky, the smell of coffee floating up the stairs. The perfect arms and legs and bony joints awkwardly sticking out of your childrens blankets. The quiet warmth of the early sun, or the sound of rain on the roof. The way a fresh blanket of snow makes everything so much quieter.

In the middle of the day, sometimes it's hard to find those perfect moments. You've gotten stressy, fallen behind, been forgotten, been late, gotten lost or anything else. It's harder to appreciate the imperfections that throw a shadow of unique on everything. By the end of the day, it can be impossible.

Kids are kind of like that. They start off so perfect, and anyone can recognize a million beautiful things about them. Even a stranger. Their tiny nails, and translucent skin, the squeaks and squirms and hearty cries. The way their eyelashes seem to almost be made of light, and how when they fall asleep on your shoulder, you could swear they were angels. It's so easy to find their innocence, it radiates outside of them and seeps into everyone inside of a mile. You feel yourself get younger just watching them.

But a little later, when they fall down screaming and then make like an over cooked noodle when you try to pick them up, and they test you and push you and saw at your last nerve until you can actually feel yourself cracking, that's when it's harder.

My husband works with teenagers who are always, always, ALWAYS that kid that the average stranger would not like. They are dangerous, dishonest, and always in trouble. They lack impulse control, and are either unable to predict consequences or they just don't care. They would rather spend three times more energy avoiding responsibilities than it would take to just DO IT. He came home one day, and held our children while he shook and he looked at me and asked "Is it hard? Please, tell me it is hard to fuck up children THAT badly".

I didn't have an answer, and still don't. All my experience being a child, a teenager, a young adult, an irrisponsible student, a social service worker, and a parent does not qualify my to answer that. I really have no idea. I hope the answer is yes, it's hard to screw up kids that badly. You have to work to be that negligent. But I don't know. I think that it's important to remember though, that like the days that end with little to recomend it...they started off perfect and people are no different.

They start off perfect too.